Most Active Discussions (3) | Political Bashing | 22 comments » | Started by Al Macintyre | | A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of...
More » By Al Macintyre | Discussions (8) | "but it happened to my sister." | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | An English man, Irishman and a Scottishman are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, "The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free". Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottishman says,"..yeah. That's quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free." Again, the crowd in the pub gave a big cheer. The Irish man says "Your two pubs are good, but they are not as good as the ones in Ireland. In Ireland you can buy one pint, get another 3 for free and then get taken into the backroom for a shag"
The English says "WOW! Did that happen to you?" and the Irishman replies "No, but it happened to my sister."
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Hilarious..A shocked Lady | Add a comment » | Started by Aadil Basha, at | | The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well,
I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell,
hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he
said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,
that's good. Did you know babies are my
specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please
come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where
do
we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on
the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
fun
You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different
positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes,
but
I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
out
a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done
on
the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at
her
throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider their mother was so difficult to
work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to
the park to get the job done right. People were
crowding around four and five deep to get a good
look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes
wide
with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
than
three hours, too. The mother was constantly
squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate,
and when darkness approached I had to rush my
shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready,
I'll
set-up my tripod and we can get to work right
away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand
very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted!!
By Aadil Basha, at | | Drivers License | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date.
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. It is not polite."
"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "these are personal questions and are really none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"Those are enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heavens name did you find that out?"
And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."
"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex."
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Husband to Wife(Note found on the refrigerator one morning) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 'My Dear Honey,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54
years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you
as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will
not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my
18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset I shall be home before midnight.'
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
'My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54
years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are
also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I
would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel
Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis
coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is
18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge
of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although
with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes
into 18.
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.'
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Give us a push | 1 comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Hahahah...ROFLMAO
By Rauf Cyclewala رؤف سائیکل والا, Analyst- Market Research & Business Intelligence | | THE BEST AGENT JOKE EVER | Add a comment » | Started by Nina L. Diamond, Journalist/Author/Editor | | Two cannibals are sitting around the fire.
'I don't like your agent," says the first one.
"That's okay," says the other. "Just eat the noodles."
By Nina L. Diamond, Journalist/Author/Editor | News Discussions (1) Latest News Job Discussions (6) Find the best talent on LinkedIn - Reach over 70 million top professionals
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