Most Active Discussions (3) | Things that men hate about women | 1 comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com) | | Friends
It's the aim of every woman to replace all of her boyfriend's friends with all her friends' boyfriends. Women are so territorial...
More » By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com) | Discussions (12) | The Official Rules of Bedroom Golf | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment, normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf the object of the game is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.
4. For most effective play the club should have a firm shaft, course owners are permitted to check stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied the game is complete, failure to do so may result being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to beging playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to the well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to cause damage to players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their protection
10. Players should ensure that their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone playing on what they consider to be a private course.
11. Players are advised to obtain course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.
12. Slow play is encouraged. However players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at least temporarily at the course owners request.
13. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting to play the same hole several times in one match.
14. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player...
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | SEMINARS FOR FEMALES(prepared and presented by males) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 1. Are You Ready to Leave?: Definition of the Word YES
2. Appropriate Rhetorical Questions (formerly titled "Honey, Do I Look Fat?")
3. Elementary Map Reading
4. Crying and Law Enforcement
5. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR
6. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours
7. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast
8. The Seven-Outfit Week
9. PMS: It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (formerly titled "It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty: Deal With It")
10. Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmission
11. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Red Lights
12. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed
13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water
14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game: A Sacrament
15. Telephone Translations (formerly titled "Me Too Equals I Love You")
16. How to Earn Your Own Money
17. Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good")
18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
21. We Forget Birthdays, You Forget Sports Stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
22. MYOB: Proper Response to Other Couple's Public Arguments
23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (formerly titled "WE learned to deal with the embarrassment")
24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
25. What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
26. The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too
27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
28. Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock")
29. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do"
30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man?
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Seminars-SEMINARS FOR MALES(prepared and presented by females) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 1. Combatting Stupidity
2. You, Too, Can Do Housework
3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
4. How to Fill an Ice Tray
5. We Do Not Want Sleazy derthings for Christmas: Give us Money
6. Understanding the Femae Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am
7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks")
8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception
9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook
10. How Not to Act Like an Asshole When You're Obviously Wrong
11. Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right
12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
13. You: The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to Give Flowers
15. How to Stay Awake After Sex
16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom
17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb
18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try
19. The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower
20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please
21. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down (formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet")
22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms
23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bullshit
24. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost
25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex
27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes
28. Mother-in-Laws: They are People Too
29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home
30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
31. Seeing the True You (formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Brad Pitt When Naked" unless you are Tegan Eve)
32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works
33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting TITS From Your Vocabulary
34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary
35. Techniques of Calling Home
36. Introductory Foreplay: The Drive Home Does Not Count.
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Why Coffee is Better than a Woman | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good.
2. Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it.
3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.
4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.
5. You can always warm coffee up.
6. Coffee comes with endless refills.
7. Coffee is cheaper.
8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM.
9. Coffee never runs out.
10. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.
11. You can take black coffee home to meet your parents.
12. You can make coffee as sweet as you want.
13. You can smoke while drinking coffee.
14. You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.
15. Coffee smells and tastes good.
16. You don't have to put vinegar in your coffee.
17. If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.
18. You can always get fresh coffee.
19. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot when you get back.
20. They sell coffee at police stations.
21. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.
22. Coffee goes down easier.
23. If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.
24. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.
25. A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter.
26. Your coffee doesn't talk to you.
27. Coffee smells good in the morning.
28. Coffee is good when it's cold too.
29. Coffee stains are easier to remove.
30. Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it.
31. Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in.
32. Coffee doesn't shed.
33. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.
34. You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in it.
35. Coffee doesn't mind being ground.
36. No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.
37. Coffee doesn't have a time of the month . . . it's good all the time.
38. When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | The Last 10 Things...(Any Woman/Man Would Ever Say) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | The Last 10 Things...
...Any Woman Would Ever Say
1. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
2. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.
3. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
4. Hey, get a whiff of that one.
5. Please don't throw that old t-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
6. This diamond is way too big.
7. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
8. Wow, it really is 14 inches!
9. Does this make my butt look too small?
10. I'm wrong, you must be right again.
...Any Man Would Ever Say
1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
2. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
3. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
4. Her tits are just too big.
5. Sometimes I just want to be held.
6. That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" gives me a woody.
7. Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
8. We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
9. Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
10. I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask directions.
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | If Women Ruled the World | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | * Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
* Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
* PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
* Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
* Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
* A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
* Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
* Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
* "Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
* Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
* Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
* Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks."
* Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
* Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
* Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit."
* Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
* Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.
* All toilet seats would be nailed down.
* Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
* TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.
* All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.
* During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19-year-olds.
* Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.
* After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.
* For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Women's Problems | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | - MEN tal illness
- MEN strual cramps
- MEN tal breakdown
- MEN opause
- GUY necologist
- And when we have real trouble, it's a.....HIS terectomy.
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 10 Things Only Women Understand | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. Fat Clothes.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.
1. Other Women!
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | They think of everything | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | A man got a phone call from his wife at work one day and she asked him to stop at the store and pick up some groceries. Reminding her that this was his golf league night he said he would be happy to go to the store after playing his round of golf.
After playing golf, he stopped at the store and picked up 2 bags full of groceries. He then proceeded to walk out of the grocery store to his Rolls Royce. Upon reaching his Rolls Royce he found it difficult to reach into his pocket to pull his keys out to open his trunk because his arms were full with two bags of groceries.
He saw a beautiful women walking nearby and he asked her, "Could you please do me a favour?" "Sure," she replied. He went on to say, "I can't reach into my pocket and get my car keys out to open my trunk and put my groceries away." "Do you think you could reach into my pocket and pull my car keys out?" "No problem," she replied.
When she pulled the keys out, two golf tees also were pulled out as well and fell to the ground. She bent over and picked them up. Looking at the golf tees in the palm of her hand, somewhat quizzically she asked the man, "Gee, what are these for?" He replied, "Oh, those are to keep my balls in the air while I'm driving." To which she commented, "Boy, those Rolls Royce people think of everything."
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Is Gambling Bad? | 1 comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | hahaha
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