Most Active Discussions (2) Discussions (6) | Subject: Fw: Life...... explained (absolutely brilliant!) | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or
walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years
and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give
you a
twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time
to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under
the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For
this,
I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you
twenty
years.'
But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the
ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family.. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.. I'm doing
it as
a public service.
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Give us a push | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out
there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you
Remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the
pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Subject: The Black Bra.. | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes..
Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams.
I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,
Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,
"What's for dinner, Zorro?"
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Smart Answers | 1 comment » | Started by Kapil Naik, Research analyst at Sale Sify pvt ltd. | | Great
By Kaisar Mukadam, Sr. Administration Executive at Rhythm & Hues Studios India Pvt. Ltd | | Criminal Hall of Shame | 2 comments » | Started by Aparna Ramesh K, AGM at India Insure Risk Management Services | | It sounds like all of these things were planed by the Obama administration! Except for the German guy. Barak has been on the golf gourse so often, he should be about ready for the Master's tournament by now. That's the ONE area where he shows competence. The German guy probably consulted Joe Biden.
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