Most Active Discussions (3) | We've really grown up..... | 39 comments » | Started by Arvind Khanna | | Four men in a row boat are thrown into the lake when a power boats rams them, but none of their hair gets wet...how is that possible???...
More » By Ronald Stern | Discussions (16) | Women | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Why do women spend so much time on improving their LOOKS and not their MINDS??
Because they know that men are STUPID, but not BLIND...!!!
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | The end of the earth | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Jeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates have to appear before God. 'You're the three mightiest men on Earth", the Creator says, "and therefor the first to know. Tomorrow I'll destroy the Earth."
A bit shaken Jeltsin enters the Kremlin and says: "Comrads, I've got bad news twice. First: God exists. Second: Tomorrow He will destroy the world."
Clinton returns to the White House and says: "I've got good and I've got bad news. The good news is: God does exist. The bad news is:Tomorrow He'll destroy the world".
Bill Gates enters the Microsoft Headquarters and says: "I've got good news. First: I'm one of the three mightiest men on Earth. Second: The Millenium problem is solved."
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 24 Things to Always Remember. . .and One Thing to Never Forget | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 1. Your presence is a present to the world.
2. You're unique and one of a kind.
3. Your life can be what you want it to be.
4. Take the days just one at a time.
5. Count your blessings, not your troubles.
6. You'll make it through whatever comes along.
7. Within you are so many answers.
8. Understand, have courage, be strong.
9. Don't put limits on yourself.
10. So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
11. Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
12. Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
13. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
14. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
15. Don't take things too seriously.
16. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
17. Remember that a little love goes a long way.
18. Remember that a lot . . . goes forever.
19. Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
20. Life's treasures are people . . . together.
21. Realize that it's never too late.
22. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
23. Have health and hope and happiness.
24. Take the time to wish upon a star.
And don't ever forget . . .For even a day . . .How very special you are.
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Attitude | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and ask him for a Phone Call.
Shop-owner replied Sweety this is not a STD, but you can do one call.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy.
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North-Palm beach, Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said," Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Dont Mess With a Fillipino Girl | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | In a New York sidewalk, a Filipino is enjoying a hearty breakfast "
coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc.
While an American, chewing a gum, sat next to him and started an
unwanted conversation...
American: You Filipinos eat the whole bread?
Filipino: Of course!
American: (Blowing bubbles with his gum) we don't. We, Americans only
eat what's inside. The crust we collect in a container, recycle, make
these into croissants and sell these to the Philippines.
American: Do you eat jam with bread?
Filipino: Of course!
American: (Chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth) we don't.
Americans eat fruits at breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and
leftovers into containers, turn these into jam and sell it to the Philippines
.
Filipino: Do you have sex in America?
American: Of course, we do!
Filipino: What do you do with the condoms?
American: We throw them, of course!
Filipino: We don't. In the Philippines, we put them into containers,
recycle them, turn them into chewing gums and sell it to America.
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Murphy's laws on women !!! | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 1. Chances are - If you think that a woman is beautiful, she will always have a husband, or a boy-friend - to prove it !
2. Chances are - The more beautiful a woman is, the greater the chances that, she may dump you !
3. Chances are - The more make up - a woman wears - she may look proprtionately uglier !
4. Chances are - the man standing next to a beautiful woman and chatting with her, may not be her brother !
5. Chances are - if the woman whom you like, likes you back, she may let you know about her interest in you, after you are married to another lady !
6. Chances are - The more you ignore a woman, the more she would be interested in you !
7. Chances are - The more you chase a woman, the faster she may run away from you !
8. Chances are - The more you like a woman, the more her father will dislike you !
9. Chances are - the number of bullets in the gun owned by the father of the woman you like, maybe directly proportional to the extent of your interest in his daughter !
10. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend will come to meet her !
11. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend who comes to meet her, will be a handsome and very exciting male hunk !
12. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you are most badly dressed !
13. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you forgot to brush your teeth !
14. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you forgot to wear body deodarant !
15. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you have an itch problem !
16. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you have a gas problem in your tummy !
17. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, your ex-girl friend comes to re-concile with you !
18. Only 35 % of the women in this world are supposed to be beautiful. Chances are that, it is only the balance 65 %, who may be in your company !
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | What is meant by RAT RACE ?. | 7 comments » | Started by RAMAKRISHNA KOPPAKA ,B.Sc.(Hons),B.Sc.(Tech)., CONSULTANT TEXTILE TECHNOLOGIST,ENVIRONMENT & POLLUTION CONTROL SPECIALIST,HYDERABAD,INDIA. | | My family asked me the same question and the answer was
Wifey and children, I have to run to prevent rats running in your stomach. This race is called rat race.
By Haresh Chetnani, General Manager - Insurance at Fiserv | | Stress Reliever | 1 comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Cool!
By Mohamed Haniffa, System Software Engineer @ nVIDIA Graphics Pvt Ltd | | Murphy's laws on women !!! | Add a comment » | Started by Sai Kumar Chalamalashetty, Business Development Executive at Knowledge Matrix India Pvt. Ltd | | 1. Chances are - If you think that a woman is beautiful, she will always have a husband, or a boy-friend - to prove it !
2. Chances are - The more beautiful a woman is, the greater the chances that, she may dump you !
3. Chances are - The more make up - a woman wears - she may look proportionately uglier !
4. Chances are - the man standing next to a beautiful woman and chatting with her, may not be her brother !
5. Chances are - if the woman whom you like, likes you back, she may let you know about her interest in you, after you are married to another lady !
6. Chances are - The more you ignore a woman, the more she would be interested in you !
7. Chances are - The more you chase a woman, the faster she may run away from you !
8. Chances are - The more you like a woman, the more her father will dislike you !
9. Chances are - the number of bullets in the gun owned by the father of the woman you like, maybe directly proportional to the extent of your interest in his daughter !
10. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend will come to meet her !
11. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend who comes to meet her, will be a handsome and very exciting male hunk!
12. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, which may be the day when, you are most badly dressed !
13. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, which may be the day when, you forgot to brush your teeth !
14. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, which may be the day when, you forgot to wear body deodorant !
15. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, which may be the day when, you have an itch problem!
16. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, which may be the day when, you have a gas problem in your tummy !
17. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, your ex-girl friend comes to re-council with you !
18. Only 35 % of the women in this world are supposed to be beautiful. Chances are that, it is only the balance 65 %, who may be in your company !
By Sai Kumar Chalamalashetty, Business Development Executive at Knowledge Matrix India Pvt. Ltd | | God Enjoys a Good Laugh | 1 comment » | Started by Al Macintyre, Volunteer Consultant at Haiti Earthquake Disaster Relief & News | | Amen!
By Chandrashekaran K N, CEO at Indraprasta Consultants | | THIS IS LIFE. A PRESENT. A true GEM. | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | "Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air.
You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass.
If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life." How?
1. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are
different that each of us is special.
2. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best
for you.
3. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would to your
life, for without them, life is meaningless.
4. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living
your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
5. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the
moment you stop trying.
6. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds
us to each other, together.
7. Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be
brave.
8. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find time. The quickest way to
receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best
way to keep love is to give it wings.
9. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where
you are going.
10. Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
11. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily
12. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way. Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift: That's why we call it " The Present."
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Blonde haircut | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | A Blonde goes to a barber and asks for a haircut. The barber asks her to take off her headphones, and she says she needs them and can't take them off. As he starts to cut her hair, she falls asleep in the chair. The barber can't cut her hair correctly with the earphones on, so he removes them, and after 30 seconds she drops dead. Startled by what’s happened, he picks up the earphones to listen what it was and they said: "Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out..."
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Blonde Humour | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | FIRST DEGREE: A married couple was asleep when the phone rang, At 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up The phone, listened a moment and said " How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife Answered, "I don't know, some Woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
SECOND DEGREE: Two blondes are walking down the street. One Notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down To pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror And says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The Second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the First blonde hands her the compact. The second One looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
THIRD DEGREE: A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on Her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to His apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the Door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her Purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, She is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and Puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
FOURTH DEGREE: A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of State capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask Me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde Replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIFTH DEGREE: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told Her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
SIXTH DEGREE: Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US government class. The Professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question then Finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware"
SEVENTH DEGREE: Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to Find her house ransacked and burglarized. She Telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the Radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the First to respond. As the K-9 officer approached The house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran Out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the Cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
"I Come home to find all my possessions stolen. I Call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.
By Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Sign of the Times | Add a comment » | Started by Deva (deva_18@ymail.com), Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant.
The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer.
The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."
The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is.
The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!"
The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!"
The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!"
The Godfather says, "Well....what did he say?"
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says...go to hell... ..that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
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