Most Active Discussions (3) | “Interesting Confusions” | 11 comments » | Started by Aparna Ramesh K | | Why do Americans leave their expensive cars on the driveway, but have useless junk in the garage?
Why is it called rush hour when you...
More » By Aparna Ramesh K | | A hearing problem | 1 comment » | Started by David Houlihan | | I know a lot of clients who would like the preacher's help with their hearings!
By Ronald Stern | Discussions (5) | BLONDE ON A PLANE --------------------------------------------------------- | Add a comment » | Started by Jaydeep Roy, Principal Research Engineer, ACE Technology, Inch'on, KOREA | | A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HALIFAX, WHEN A BLONDE IN
ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS
SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS
TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY
CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO HALIFAX AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS
THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE
BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN
ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO
EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY
SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO HALIFAX AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST
THIS BLONDE WOMAN, WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR,
AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES
BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND
ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT
ANY FUSS.
"I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HALIFAX ".
By Jaydeep Roy, Principal Research Engineer, ACE Technology, Inch'on, KOREA | | NO Speak English | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
(Please scroll down.)
What were you
Thinking?
Her husband speaks English!
Now get back to your emails.
I worry about you
Sometimes! !
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Very Short Story | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
Woman yells out window, PIG!
Man yells out window, BITCH!
Man rounds next curve.
Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.
Thought For the Day:
If men would just listen ....
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | How Men can Make a Woman Happy | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5.. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13.. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23.. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26.. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37.. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. Determined!
41. true
42. dependable
43.. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring Alcohol
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Koala Joke | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint
when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala!
What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.' ?
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!'
So the koala looked down at him and said,
'Wow, dude...
How much water did you drink!?'
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education And Consultancy Help (TEACH) | Job Discussions (2) Find the best talent on LinkedIn - Reach over 65 million top professionals
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