Most Active Discussions (2) Discussions (26) A typical married couple | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | A typical married couple was lying in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he paused and reached over to his wife and started fondling her "kitty". He did this only for a very short while. Then he would stop, and resume reading his book. The wife gradually became aroused with this. Thinking that her husband was seeking some response as encouragement, before going any further, she got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband confused, asked, "What are you doing taking all your clothes off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my "kitty", I thought it was for*play to stimulate making love with you tonight. The husband said, "No, not at all." Then the wife asked, "Well what the hell were you doing then?" To which the husband replied, "I was wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in the book." By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Marriage One Liner | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. Lov is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. Der r two times a man does'nt understand a woman, b4 marriage and after marriage! A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man! A woman worries about da future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife! Married man live longer than a single man, but married man r lot more willing to die! If ur dog is barking at da back door and ur wife is yelling at da front door, who do u let in first? da Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after u let him in! A woman has da last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is da begining of a new argument. Any married man should 4get his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people da same thing. B4 marriage, a man yearns 4 da woman he lovs. After marriage, da "y" becomes silent. I asked my wife, "Where do u want to go 4 our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about da kitchen?" To be happy with a man, u must understand him a lot and luv him a little. To be happy with a woman, u must luv her a lot and not try to understand her at all ! A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does'nt. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. She ran after da garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late 4 da garbage?" Following her down da street I yelled, "No, jump in!" Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and da woman gets her Masters. A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate ur relatives. In fact, I like ur mother-in-law better than I like mine." da honeymoon is over when da husband calls home to say he'll be late 4 dinner and da answering machine says it is in da microwave. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And da father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying 4 it." A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because da thief was spending less than his wife did. A man who muttered a few words in da church, found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced! Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on da outside u trying to get in. Those on da inside r trying to get out. Marriage puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under da man's eyes. Marriage is a rest period between romances. Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Don't marry 4 money, u can borrow it cheaper. Getting married is similar to going to da restaurant with friends. u order what u want, and when u see what da other fellow has, u wish u had ordered that. May u grow so rich ur widow's second husband never has to worry about a living. - God 4bid. Marriage is a romantic story, in which hero dies in da first chapter." Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not da only thing in life!! Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. -Oscar Wilde I don't worry about terrorism. I was married 4 two years. -Sam Kinison A psychiatrist is a person who will give u expensive answers that ur wife will give u 4 free. Men have a better time than women; 4 one thing, day marry later; 4 another thing, dey die earlier. -H. L. Mencken luv is holding hands in da street. Marriage is holding arguments in da street. TV has no place in luv. Marriage is a fight 4 remote control. luv is dinner in ur favorite restaurant. Marriage is a take home packet. luv is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children. luv is cuddling on a sofa. Marriage is one of dam sleeping on a sofa. By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | The Man's Strategy for Going to the Bathroom: | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | 1) Walk slowly and proudly up to the bathroom, make sure everyone knows that is where you are headed. 2) Enter the bathroom, and quickly check out the whole room 3) Look for the right urinal. This is how to pick your urinal: There must be at least one urinal between you and the next closest person (on either side) to you, if this is not available, take the urinal next to the wall, beside a 'safe looking' male. If this is also not available, glance at stalls, or leave bathroom, and return later, to get the right spot. 4) If proper urinal is available, approach urinal swiftly, looking straight ahead, never turning eyes or head. Another approach is to look at the floor, feet are always good as well. 5) Undo pants, relieve yourself as quickly as possible, keep head looking down (or eyes closed and head held looking up) this way no one will think you are trying to check them out. 6) Shake it off, put it back in your pants. ** Note Steps 7 and 8 are optional, but recommended in 45 of the 50 states. 7) Wash hands. 8) Attempt to dry hands. Look to see if a blow dryer or paper towel dispenser is close by. If not, your clothes will do just fine as a towel. 9) Exit bathroom, do NOT look back, you didn't forget anything. 10) Check to see if your female companion has exited the bathroom before you, although highly unlikely, you must check anyway. 11) Wait patiently for her return, remember to NOT say things like, "Wow, what took you so long." By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | How To Translate Womenspeak | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | When She Says She Really Means No...................................... Yes. Of course I'm not upset................. Of course I'm upset, you moron! I might as well tell you Bob and I are seeing each other......... Bob and I are having sex. I feel I've known you my whole life..... I'm drunk. Will you respect me in the morning?..... You won't tell your friends, will you? I never do this on my first date........ I always do this on my first date. Don't touch me there.................... Touch me there, but I'm going to stop you the first few times. You're...so manly....................... You need to shave and you sweat a lot. Hello? Oh yes. Didn't we meet at the bar Friday night?.... I've been waiting by the phone for thre days Let's not talk "commitment". Let's just see what happens...... I'm not taking any birth control pills. You're certainly lovely tonight......... Is sex all you ever think about? I can't believe you're here.It must be fate...... I've been following you all day. I'm particular who I have sex with...... I draw the line at barnyard animals. I'm not emotional and I'm not over-reacting...... I'm having my period. I hope you're not disappointed.......... I'm flat chested. Want to come upstairs for a nightcap?... Want to come upstairs and have sex? Just come upstairs for a drink.......... Maybe if I get you drunk you'll have sex with me. I love a man who takes charge........... You're picking up the bill, aren't you? Be romantic...turn out the lights....... I have flabby thighs. By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | A job negotiator and a feminist | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | A job negotiator and a feminist were in dispute... The feminist was argueing over the different pay scales that her women were receiving... Fem: Okay, why are women paid less than men for doing the same job that a man does. Neg: It says in the Bible that women are worth less than men. Fem: Where does it say that? I don't think so. Neg: Well, you do agree that woman was made from a rib, correct? Fem: Yeah, so? Neg: Well, there you have it. A rib is a cheaper cut of meat! By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | How stupid their wives were. | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Three friends were sitting in a bar, drinking Beer, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The first guy, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the market and bought meat worth 1000 bucks because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in." The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent 4 lacs on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" Banta nods sagely, and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles. "My wife just left to go on a holiday in Germany. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a pen*s! By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | How woman think about Men -------------------------- | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | 1. What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women 2. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything. 3. How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner. 4. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch. 5. What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging. 6. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing. 7. How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares? 8. What's the difference between men and government bonds? Government bonds mature. 9. How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off of his head. 10. What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up. 11. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know, it's never been done. 12. How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped. 13. What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home. 14. What's a man's idea of a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six-pack of beer. 15. What's a man's idea of helping you with the housework? Picking up his feet so you can vacuum. 16. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. 17. What's the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding, scum-sucker, and the other is a fish! 18. What did God say after creating man? I can do better. 19. What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention. 20. What are the two reasons why men don't mind their business? 1. No mind. 2. No business. 21. Why did God create man? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn. 22. Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover? He knows firsthand the penalty for early withdrawel. 23. Why are men like laxatives? They both irritate the shit out of you. 24. If a man got pregnant... Abortion would be available in convenient stores and drive-thru windows. 25. Why do men name their penises? They want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all of their decisions. 26. Why is it so hard for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because they already have boyfriends. 27. Did you hear about the man who won a gold medal at The Olympics? He had it bronzed. 28. Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love. 29. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they don't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. 30. What is gross stupidity? 144 men in the same room. 31. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette? The porcupine has pricks on the outside. 32. How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three: One to hold the pan, and two others to show off and shake the stove. 33. What is a man's view of safe sex? A padded headboard. 34. How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy But Wearable." By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in B.C. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" 10. Remember...Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage. 12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, 'Dust!" 15. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman... Since then, neither God nor man has rested. 16. Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to. By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | WOMEN'S/MEN'S ENGLISH: | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | WOMEN'S ENGLISH: Yes = No. No = Yes. Maybe = Hell no. We need = I want. I'm sorry = You'll be sorry. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. You're so .... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like. MEN'S ENGLISH: I'm hungry = I'm hungry. I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. I'm tired = I'm tired. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! I love you = Let's have sex now. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'll take you to a nice restaurant and then I'd like to have sex with you. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Men vs Women at the Drive Thuough ATM Machine(This doesn't shed a good light on women, but is nevertheless entertaining...) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | HIM: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, receipt, and card 5. Leave HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because she's too far from machine 6. Hunt for card in purse 7. Insert card 8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it 9. Enter PIN number 10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes. 11. Hit "cancel" 12. Re-enter correct PIN number 12a. Hit "cancel" 12b. Call husband to get correct PIN number 13. Check balance 14. Look for envelope 15. Look in purse for pen 16. Make out deposit slip 17. Endorse checks 18. Make deposit 19. Study instructions 20. Make cash withdrawal 21. Get in car 22. Check makeup 23. Look for keys 24. Start car 25. Check makeup 26. Start pulling away 27. STOP 28. Back up to machine 29. Get out of car 30. Take card and receipt 31. Get back in car 32. Put card in wallet 33. Put receipt in checkbook 34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook 35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook 36. Check makeup 37. Put car in gear, reverse 38. Put car in drive 39. Drive away from machine 40. Travel 3 miles 41. Release parking brake By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Types Of Girls You Might See In The Restroom | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Sloppy - Skirt drags in toilet while squatting, pees all over front of toilet seat, never uses toilet paper, drags her business all over seat, forgets to flush and emerges with back of skirt caught in pants. Timid - Looks under stall door to see if anyone else is in the can, turns on faucet full force, backs up to toilet, squats quickly, flushes for constant flow of water, coughs, hums, listens intently to learn if sound other than faucet can be heard. Ends up with loud fart, walks out blushing. Frivolous - Lets stream go in little squirts to the tune of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Literary - Always takes book of the month to the can with her. Blames "Forever Amber" for her piles. Cautious - Has heard of so many girls contracting VD from toilet seats that she straddles bowl, leans over to flush, pees on her nylons. Worried - A week past due. Squats thoughtfully, counting days overdue on fingers. Uses toilet paper, examines it hopefully. Peers into toilet before flushing, sighing deeply. Walks out biting nails after forgetting to wash hands. Resolves never to go to bed drunk again. Cross-Eyed - Sits on one cheek on the side of the seat and pees all over the floor. Usually wears rubber boots on her visits to the can, and carries a box of Kleenex in her purse. Big Time - Always leaves toilet door open while she chats and brags to the other girls about the guy she "had" last night. Shows girls her panties with black lace edging and "Welcome" embroidered in the crotch. Has never been to bed with a man. Selfish - Enters alone and locks the door, saying to the girls following that she will be out in a minute. Leisurely pees. Remarks, adjusts clothes and poses before mirror keeping others squirming outside for an hour. Conceited - Approaches toilet with undulating movements. Raises dress by finger tips. Expression while peeing indicates such a lovely creature should not be compelled to attend to such lowly duties. Farts silently and disdainfully. Hardy Girl - Raises dress with a whoop. Scuttles across the floor beating other occupant to toilet. Squats with great force, rattling windows and causing breasts to bob up and down, hums lively tune, peeing in squirts to keep time, farts loudly and with great glee. Drunk - Wobbles to toilet. After several attempts manages to raise dress. Squats on toilet with shrieks of laughter. Pees for a while, singing happy songs, suddenly starts to sob broken heartedly as she realizes that she forgot to pull down her panties. Continues peeing and sobbing. The I Don't Care Girl - Just squats and fires away. Stuboorn Girl - Believes all public places are contaminated. Stands three feet in front of toilet, backs up, takes careful aim and fires away, always misses, but will try again. By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | What's the definition of a perfect woman? | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it. b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in. c) The economy model fucks all night and, at midnight, turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack. By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | A very 'straight and honest' girl | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'. With this advice from her mother, the girl went to Town. After some months later, she came home to get her mother's blessings to marry. "Mother, I've met the my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn't that beingfaithful?" Her mother nodded in agreement. "Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, they'll share one room only. Isn't he not thrifty guy?" For the second time her mother nodded her head in agreement, but with a little concern. "And finally mum..., I know he is a virgin" "How did you know he is still a virgin?" The mother asked with repidition. "MMM...his 'that one' is still new and hard....all wrapped up in plastic, mum!" By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Spinning Husband | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | This woman dies, and when she gets to heaven she asks Saint Peter, "Would it be possible for me to get together with my dear departedhusband? He died many years ago." Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?" "John Smith," replies the woman. "Gee," says Saint Peter, "we've got a lot of John Smiths up here. But sometimes we can identify people by their last words. Do you happen to remember what his last words were?" The woman thinks for a moment, then says, "Oh yes! I remember them! He said that if I ever slept with another man after he was gone, he would roll over in his grave." "Oh!" says Saint Peter. "You mean Whirling John Smith!" By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Mad Cow Disease ! | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | A female TV reporter went to have an interview with a farmer, seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease ....... Lady : Good evening Sir, we are here to collect information about the reason that causes Mad Cow Disease. Do you have any idea what might be the reason ? The Farmer stared at the reporter and said, " Do you know that the bull screws the cow once a year ? " The Lady ( getting embarrassed ) : " Well sir, that's a new piece of information. But what is the relation between this phenomenon and Mad CowDisease ? " The Farmer : " Well Madam, do you know that we milk the cow four times a day ? " The Lady : " Yes ! But can you come to the point please ? " The Farmer : " I am getting to the point Madam ........ Just imagine ........ if I was playing with your breasts, four times a day and screwing you ........ ONLY ........ once a year, would you also not get mad ? " By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Bitchy comebacks | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | ☆ Want to Create a Better More Positive Life? How to Get Great Results in Life.... | Add a comment » | Started by ☆ Liz Green ☆, CEO & Founder of Live Your Dream Mentoring | Do you want to make positive changes in your life? Want to see better results in all areas of your life? There is one key thing you may need to look at and it's pretty simple.... read on.... ~ If you keep on doing what you have always done, you will keep getting the same results ~ Simple! To bring about changes in life, first and foremost you need to decide to make changes to what you are doing and thinking! Now this doesnt just relate to changing your actions it also relates to changing your thoughts, the two go hand in hand. Even if you can only make small adjustments to start with you will start to see a shift in your life. Maybe you are unhappy with your current job or business. Maybe you are unhappy with where you live or your relationships with people. Now is the time to start looking for what you DO want in life. A new job, better business, better area to live, new friends, new relationships.... Ok, you may not be able to see how you can move towards the positive changes you want in life or the better results but first and foremost start to put some attention on what you DO want rather than what you dont want. This is key! You will notice that as you start to do this things will start to appear in your life which will help you move towards the things you desire. When it comes to the practical actions to move towards positive changes and better results in life, make your move. Take some inspired action to work towards what you want rather than hoping something will show up, go out there and knock on a few doors. You will find a great balance by taking inspired action and also starting to focus on the things you DO want in life. It's a winning combination:) Let's put a positive spin on the quote from the beginning of this article... ~ If you keep on doing new exciting and different things in life you will keep on getting new exciting and different results ~ Go for it! Liz talks further about results, watch here ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwnzuROcNWo Yours in service, Liz ♥ ~ Inspirational Leader ~ Transformational Mentor ~ CEO & Founder of Live Your Dream Mentoring http://www.liveyourdreammentoring.com Learn how to create the life of your dreams.... Then live it! ♥••*´¨`*•.☆• By ☆ Liz Green ☆, CEO & Founder of Live Your Dream Mentoring | Free Job Search Webinar – Take Your Job Search to the Next Level- Learn Little-known Techniques For Every Step Of The Job Hunt. http://alturl.com/icuj | Add a comment » | Started by Elizabeth White, Inside Sales Manager at Digiwave Enterprises, Inc | Free Job Search Webinar – Take Your Job Search to the Next Level- Learn Little-known Techniques For Every Step Of The Job Hunt. http://alturl.com/icuj The recession has caused unemployment rates to skyrocket. With so many newly unemployed people searching for jobs, competition for available positions is fierce. In these troubling times, it is vital to have the edge to get your resume noticed, impress your interviewer, and get the job you need at the salary you want. In the free Job Search Webinar, you’ll learn little-known techniques for every step of the job hunt. First, you’ll learn how to effectively plan and implement your job search: • Creative Strategies for Today’s Job Market • Planning Your Job Search for Maximum Effectiveness • How to be Proactive in Your Job Search • Overcoming “Phone Phobia” • The Art of Cold Calling You’ll learn insider secrets to networking and tapping the hidden job market: • Getting Hired Through the Power of Networking • Networking Skills for the “Hidden” Job Market • Using Social Media to Enhance Your Job Search Efforts Applying for a job is a marketing campaign. In the Job Search Webinar, you’ll learn how to market yourself using unique tactics and techniques: • Marketing Your Potential • Your Resume: Beyond the Basics • How to Get the Hiring Manager to Notice Your Resume The job interview can be a nerve-wracking experience. Learning how to shine in an interview is an essential skill. But what about when you receive a job offer? You have to know how to negotiate effectively in order to get hired on YOUR terms: • Making a Good First Impression • Interview Secrets • How to Make Your Interview Memorable • How to Negotiate Your Next Employment Offer • …and much more! If you are interested in maximizing your job search efforts, please take a moment to register now by visiting:http://alturl.com/icuj By Elizabeth White, Inside Sales Manager at Digiwave Enterprises, Inc | Awesome Music Video | Add a comment » | Started by Alex Ross, Designer at Designing | http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c884db7c6b/queef-in-my-pants By Alex Ross, Designer at Designing | Guess the cup size? | Add a comment » | Started by Alex Ross, Designer at Designing | Ready? Please state your answer in the comments section http://funlok.com/index.php/jokes/guess-what-cup-size.html By Alex Ross, Designer at Designing | Don't want to receive email notifications? Adjust your message settings. LinkedIn values your privacy. At no time has LinkedIn made your email address available to any other LinkedIn user without your permission. © 2010, LinkedIn Corporation. |
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