Most Active Discussions (3) Discussions (11) | You can be THE Man of your House... | Add a comment » | Started by Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House."
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law."
"You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands.
Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."
By Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Women are so much better at estate planning than men. | Add a comment » | Started by Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | When David found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
By Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | it is better to have a wife or a mistress? | Add a comment » | Started by Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the question as to whether it is better to have a wife or a mistress. The lawyer explained, "With a divorce as costly as it is, it is far better to have a mistress.". The doctor responded, "No, to avoid possible exposure to sexually transmitted diseases, it is necessary to enter into a monogamous relationship with one woman, your wife.". The mathematician reflected on those answers for a moment, then cleared his throat and commented, "No. Both of you are wrong. It is best to have both a wife and a mistress. That way, when your wife thinks you are with your mistress, and your mistress thinks you are with your wife, you can go to the office and do mathematics!".
By Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Dealing with Angry Wife | Add a comment » | Started by Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, 'Lets do it!'
....and she's always sound asleep.
By Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | No, he is shorter. | Add a comment » | Started by Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Husband: Honey, when I die, will you marry again?
Wife: I am afraid I will. You know how much I hate solitude.
Husband: Will you let him drive my car?
Wife: Well, I think so.
Husband: Will you let him sit in my favorite chair?
Wife: Maybe.
Husband: Will you let him have my gold watch?
Wife: Maybe.
Husband: Will you let him wear my nice suits?
Wife: No, he is shorter.
By Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Eighteen Double Vodkas | Add a comment » | Started by Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
The bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said, "Dude! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
By Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | 4 Marriages | Add a comment » | Started by Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | An 80 year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station because she had just gotten married - for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
"He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked her why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go"
By Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | The Husband Store | Add a comment » | Started by Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions
at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store
just across the street.
The 1st floor has wives who love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
By Devaraju Kanchi, Recruitment specialist at Makrotech | | Free Flight !! | 1 comment » | Started by Arvind Khanna, Regional Manager - Dynamic Professional - comprehensively experienced across various business domains | | In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair.
The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot
how much a ride would cost.
"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much,"
said the farmer.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a
deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering
a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have
to pay $10."
The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After
they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate
you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."
"Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed
when my wife fell out."
By Arvind Khanna, Regional Manager - Dynamic Professional - comprehensively experienced across various business domains | Latest News Don't want to receive email notifications? Adjust your message settings. LinkedIn values your privacy. At no time has LinkedIn made your email address available to any other LinkedIn user without your permission. © 2010, LinkedIn Corporation. |
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