Most Active Discussions (2) | Become a Fan of Keith S | 1 comment » | Started by keith sanderson | | Here is some content worth discussing. Some is graphic such as the Chinese fur trade. Other subjects are humorous such as purchasing a...
More » By keith sanderson | Discussions (10) | A funny | Add a comment » | Started by Jodine Ibeme (Jodi), Plastic Injection Molding Operator/Tender,at Adecco Staffing | | Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
By Jodine Ibeme (Jodi), Plastic Injection Molding Operator/Tender,at Adecco Staffing | | Adam was returning home late one night......... | Add a comment » | Started by Jodine Ibeme (Jodi), Plastic Injection Molding Operator/Tender,at Adecco Staffing | | Eve confronted him, "You are seeing another woman, aren't you?
He replied,"Don't be silly you are the only woman on earth."
Later that night Adam woke up feeling feeling a tickle on his chest.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
Eve replied,"What do you think? I am counting your ribs."
By Jodine Ibeme (Jodi), Plastic Injection Molding Operator/Tender,at Adecco Staffing | | Three Minute Management Course | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob th e next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”.
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Puff! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Puff! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?” The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 4:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey peck ed at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: BS might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there!
This ends the 3-minute management course.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | The Rules (For those of you who don't already know, these are the rules that are in effect in every relationship.) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | 1. The female always makes the rules.
2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which was
a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
7. If rule number six applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing
the misunderstanding.
8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the
female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be
angry or upset.
12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants
him to be calm, angry or upset.
13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
14. The female always gets the last word!
(*) These rules are subject to change as the female sees fit.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Jerks should remember fairies are female..... | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling
husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen
Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an
opportunity like this will never come again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than
me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful jerks should remember
fairies are female.....
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Tom and Harry - Twin Husbands | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | There were two twins, Tom and Harry. Tom was the owner of an old dilapidated boat.
It just so happened that Harry's wife died the same day Tom's boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Tom and mistaking him for Harry said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."
Tom, thinking she was talking about his boat said "Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle"
The old woman fainted.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Moral Of The Story(Stay away from Aunts) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | A teacher told her young class to ask their parents For a family story with a moral at the end of it, and To return the next day to tell their stories.
In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example First, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket On the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump In the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the Eggs broke."
The moral of the story is not to put all Your eggs in one basket..
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next, Mary said, "We are farmers too. We had twenty Eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got Ten chicks."
"The moral of this story is not to count Your chickens before they are hatched"
"Very good ," said the teacher again, very pleased with The response so far.
Next it was Barney's turn to tell his story: "My dad Told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen Was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got Hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all She had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a Machete."
"Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.
"Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to
Prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle Of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of Them with the machine gun until she ran out of Bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete Till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten With her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher,
"What did Your father say was the moral of that frightening Story?"
The child said "Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been Drinking"
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Mottos to Work | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
Plagiarism saves time.
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time, so you don't have to.
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
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