Most Active Discussions (3) Discussions (15) | Purchasing a new bird | Add a comment » | Started by Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.
"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"
By Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | The Power of the Bible(Funny story about a little old lady and the Bible) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | An elderly woman was returning home from a Thursday mid-week service at her local church. As she
unlocked her door, an intruder startled her.
She caught the man in the very act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled,
'STOP! Acts 2:38!'
The burglar stopped in his tracks.
The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer handcuffed the man to take him to gaol, he asked the burglar, 'Why did you just
stand there? All the old lady did was quote a scripture to you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'I thought the lady had an axe and two 38's!'
Biblical Footnote The Book of Acts Chapter 2, Verse 38 says : Repent and be baptized, in the name
of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | 16 Wives | 1 comment » | Started by Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | goo d 1 !
By Anuj Pillai, Sr. research analyst at salesify | | Dinner Prayer | 1 comment » | Started by Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | OOOOps - Kids Rule.
By Sarabjot K, Business Head, Arvind Systems & Communications | | The Next Generation | Add a comment » | Started by Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | Who said children are getting dumber every year. Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves...
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
By Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | Be like Jesus | Add a comment » | Started by Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | Seeing her two sons fighting over the last piece of pizza the mother said, "You boys should be acting more like Jesus, if He were here He would give His brother the last piece"
The older brother looked at his younger sibling and said, "Marty, you be Jesus"
By Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | Hearing Aid | Add a comment » | Started by Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no response.
He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response. Finally, he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "for the third time, yes!"
By Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | Bad Speller | Add a comment » | Started by Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | A warthog hits this lady and the husband calls 911.
The operator asks, "Where are you at"?
The husband replies, "I'm on Eucolipstic Road."
The operator asks, "Can you spell that for me?"
"Well... I'll just drag her over to Oak so you can you pick her up there?"
By Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | Three Men On a Hill | Add a comment » | Started by Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | There were three men on a hill with their watches.
The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it.
The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.
The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow!"
By Shameen Shaikh, Senior Research Analyst at Salesify | | Would you Remarry? | 7 comments » | Started by Colleen Lindblad R.N., Home Health Care for the Elderly and Sick(clind1@optonline.net) | | Just go ahead with another.
By RAMAKRISHNA KOPPAKA ,B.Sc.(Hons),B.Sc.(Tech)., CONSULTANT TEXTILE TECHNOLOGIST,ENVIRONMENT & POLLUTION CONTROL SPECIALIST,HYDERABAD,INDIA. | | Husband's Great Gift | 2 comments » | Started by Colleen Lindblad R.N., Home Health Care for the Elderly and Sick(clind1@optonline.net) | | Really very sweet humour.I thought he may be imagining about his beautiful,charming,vivacious girl friend kissing on the cheeks of his wife.
Sacrifice is rewarded with compound interest.
By RAMAKRISHNA KOPPAKA ,B.Sc.(Hons),B.Sc.(Tech)., CONSULTANT TEXTILE TECHNOLOGIST,ENVIRONMENT & POLLUTION CONTROL SPECIALIST,HYDERABAD,INDIA. | | HOW A WOMAN HAS A SHOWER | 2 comments » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Deva, it seems that you have keenly observed it, researched on it and then published this
Did you do a survey............... LOL........
just kidding
By Manish Pandey, Subject Matter Expert, Internet Research at Telegenisys Inc (TGSI) | | That is happiness | 1 comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | That's exactly why it's illegal to surrepticiously tape record people in Maryland!
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