Most Active Discussions (3) Discussions (7) | Subject: FW: skinny dippping | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education and Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five- gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked. '
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'
Some old men can still think fast.
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education and Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women | Add a comment » | Started by David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education and Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.
Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a cyclone might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word 'child support payment' means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly
Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in university.
'OESTROGEN ISSUES'
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE ' O ESTROGEN ISSUES'
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You 're using your mobile phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving-call 0800-'.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy..
10. The Nurofen Plus box is empty and you bought it yesterday..
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2.. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
By David Houlihan, Owner, Training Education and Consultancy Help (TEACH) | | Thoughts from work | 4 comments » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | super duper :)
By Ashley Cruz, Sr Business Development Executive at Pyxis Systems Pvt Ltd | | The Substitute Teacher | 4 comments » | Started by Shratark Katarkar[TopLinked] [LION][2000+] Direct, Research Analyst at SaleSify | | I think Johnny knew what he was saying!
By George Marshall, VP Marketing at Dhyan Infotech | | What is Fashion Designing? | 1 comment » | Started by Mohammed Irshan, Sr. Staffing Consultant at Softpath Systems, Inc., | | Very True
By Amit Kar (1500+ Connections), Research Associate at Exevo India Ltd. | | Daughters are curious | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.
Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"
Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.
Without them we wouldn't be here."
Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.
To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | Don't want to receive email notifications? Adjust your message settings. LinkedIn values your privacy. At no time has LinkedIn made your email address available to any other LinkedIn user without your permission. © 2010, LinkedIn Corporation. |
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