Most Active Discussions (3) | Call a friend | 11 comments » | Started by George Marshall | | 10. Hi. Now you say something. Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep....
More » By Priya Jayadevan | | WOMEN are smart or MEN | 5 comments » | Started by Kiran Raghwani | | great one bro keep up the good work it proves the fact once more...........................
By Sahil A.Ansari | Discussions (32) | Just looking for expiry date | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Wife: Honey: What are You Looking for in that paper ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | On Mars... | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | A couple from Earth has finally saved up enough money to take a vacation on Mars (they could do that then). So they go to mars and meet a martian couple and start talking about they way they do things and come to the subject of sex. They decide to switch partners for the night to see what happens.
The human woman and the man martian go into a room and the martian strips but his thing is the size of a pencil (whoa), and the woman says, "um, how is this going to work?" The martian man replies "Oh, not big enough? Okay then."
All of a sudden he starts slapping his forehead and his thing grows longer. "Um, that's good but isn't it still a little thin?
"No problem" the martian man replies.
Then he starts pulling his ears and it grows wider. The woman is amazed by this and they have wonderful sex.
The next day they meet and the human man asks his wife how it was and she said "Oh my, it was wonderful! How was your night?"
The man replied, "It was awful!!
The martian woman kept slapping my forehead and puling my ears!"
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Up the as????....This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week.if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this: | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?
Brian: Yeah, sure.
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning.
Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?
Brian: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes.
Presenter:10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it?
Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that.
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!
Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table.
Presenter:(and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife?
Brian: Yeah, alright.
Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks.
Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello.
Sharelle: Hi Brian.
Brian: Hi Sharelle.
Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali.
Brian: Just tell the truth Honey.
Sharelle: O.K.
Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them.
Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work.
Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle? Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.
Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman.
Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no.
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here.
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway.. just tell em.
Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the as???...!
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Rod and reel | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "Thats a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That is amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck all is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Bird | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | One day a man was sleeping and the neighbor's little girl entered his house, woke him up and said, "What is that between your legs?" He replied that is "my bird." He went back to sleep. She came back later and said, "What's that furry stuff around your bird?" He replied that's "my nest." So he went back to sleep. She came back later. "What's those two things under it?" He said those are "the eggs." She said, "Okay, can I play with your bird, and he said "ok." When he woke up later, he noticed that he was in the hospital. He saw the little girl and asked, "what happened?" She said, "When I was playing with your bird he spit in my eye so I chopped off his head, burnt down his nest and busted his eggs!"
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Voodoo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her sleeping someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except -- " and he stopped. "Except what?" the man asked. "Nothing, nothing." "C'mon, tell me! I need something!" "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick.'" The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said "Big deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!" The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door." The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!" The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there. "I'll take it!" said the businessman. The old man resisted, saying it wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo dick, my pussy." He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She sat on the bed and spread open her legs. She got the voodoo dick out and laid it on the bed right in front of her, and said just as her husband has told her: "Voodoo dick, my pussy!" . The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her, and wouldn't stop screwing. The officer looked at her for a second, and then said "Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my ass!"
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | softball game | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Two teenagers wander off to the bushes during a softball game on the outskirts of town and start necking. After a while the boy stops. "You know we've been doing this for a few weeks now and I think it's time we went all the way," he pleads. "Well, maybe," she says, "But I'm a virgin and I heard it hurts. Besides all those people at the field may hear us." The boy stops and says, "Hmmm, well then if it hurts, start making cow sounds, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing. That way no one will ever guess what we're really doing." The girl agrees so they quickly take off their clothes and get down to business. Ten minutes later people watching the game hear sounds echoing through the quiet countryside so loudly that the teams stop playing.
"Moooo ..... Moooooo ...... Moooooooon River .......!"
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have bankrupted at least two businesses
3 have been arrested for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are current defendants in lawsuits
In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that perpetually cranks out hundreds upon hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of us in line.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | You work in Banking if: | 1 comment » | Started by Bob Kruijsse, Risk Manager at DHL | | ...you don't add value and sponge money out of the economy.
By Gordon Kent, Self employed | | Strategic Management | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | In the Beginning was the Plan
And then came the Assumptions
And the Assumptions were without form
And the Plan was completely without substance
and the darkness was upon the face of the workers
and they spoke among themselves, saying
"It is a crock of shit and it stinketh."
And the workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odour thereof",
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them,
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
Such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It promotes growth and is very powerful."
And the Vice Presents went unto the President and sayeth unto him,
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency
of this Organization, and in these areas in particular."
And the President looked upon The Plan,
And saw that it was good, and the Plan became Policy.
This is How Shit Happens.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Job application | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | If you've ever sought advice for completing a job application form, you might find inspiration from the following and allegedly true application for employment with McDonalds:
NAME: Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha! But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | How all careers end | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | How careers end...
Lawyers are disbarred.
Ministers are defrocked.
Electricians are delighted.
Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented.
Drunks are distilled.
Alpine climbers are dismounted.
Piano tuners are unstrung.
Orchestra leaders are disbanded.
Artists' models are deposed.
Cooks are deranged.
Dressmakers are unbiased.
Nudists are redressed.
Office clerks are defiled.
Mediums are dispirited.
Programmers are decoded.
Accountants are discredited.
Holy people are disgraced.
Pastry chefs are deserted.
Perfume makers are dissented.
Butterfly collectors are debugged.
Students are degraded.
Electricians are refused.
Bodybuilders are rebuffed.
Underwear models are debriefed
Painters are discolored.
Spinsters are dismissed.
Judges are disappointed.
Vegas dealers are discarded.
Mathematicians are discounted.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Changed HR policies | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Week 1 - Memo No. 1
Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice.
Week 3 - Memo No. 2
Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
Week 6 - Memo No. 3
Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
Week 8 - Memo No. 4
A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory.
Week 9 - Memo No. 5
As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper casual-day dress.
Week 14 - Memo No. 6
The Casual Day Task Force has now completed a 30-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A copy has been distributed to every employee. Please review the chapter "You Are What You Wear" and consult the "home casual" versus "business casual" checklist before leaving for work each Friday. If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday.
Week 18 - Memo No. 7
Our Employee Assistant Plan (EAP) has now been expanded to provide support for psychological counseling for employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.
Week 20 - Memo No. 8
Due to budget cuts in the HR Department we are no longer able to effectively support or manage Casual Day. Casual Day will be discontinued, effective immediately.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Answers to Aphorisms! | Add a comment » | Started by Aparna Ramesh K, AGM at India Insure Risk Management Services | | - In doubt lies the truth.
- If you doubt everything - you'll forget how to lie.
~~
- Every man dreams of a woman that he could love, respect and lie to.
- A woman is nobler than a man: unlike him she pays attention to more than looks.
~~
- Life is what you think of it.
- You think this is life?
~~
- A man has to be a bit prettier than an ape.
- And a woman - a bit prettier than the previous one.
~~
- Man is full of spite, but he likes kindness... when done by others.
- All men are kind, but some are unhappy.
Anymore?
By Aparna Ramesh K, AGM at India Insure Risk Management Services | | Interesting Blonde | 1 comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | I like it..not only because I'm blonde :))
By Anna Chlewicka, Head Manager at Marshal Office of the Świetokrzyskie Voivodship | | Great Italian Sex | 1 comment » | Started by Mario L. Castellanos, Owner, MLC New Ventures - Technology, Security, Broadcast Communications, and Telecommunications Sectors | | :)
By Anna Chlewicka, Head Manager at Marshal Office of the Świetokrzyskie Voivodship | | Strategic Humor | Add a comment » | Started by Frank A. Hladik, M.B.A., President & CEO at Strategic Business Partners | | "If we change one molecule of this painkiller, we'll get an excellent hair spray. The sales people are deciding which way to go."
By Frank A. Hladik, M.B.A., President & CEO at Strategic Business Partners | | It's all about size, no matter what you say!! | Add a comment » | Started by Bob Kruijsse, Risk Manager at DHL | | A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field in the distance. Amazed, he asks, "What the hell are those?!"
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
By Bob Kruijsse, Risk Manager at DHL | | Love & Marriage | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | *A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheatfield and choose the biggest wheat and come back.But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn backto pick."The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even biggerone waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start torealise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, heknow he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teachertold him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, butwhen later you realise, you have already miss the person...."**"What is marriage then?" the student asked.The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the cornfield and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: youcan go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not torepeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, hehas picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to theteacher.The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look forone that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the bestone you get.... this is marriage.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | GIFT | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she saw everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her," now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry
him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her Saying,
"Just take care of my eyes dear."
Moral:This is how human brain changes when our status changes. Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Exercise !! | Add a comment » | Started by Prashant Panchal, Key Account Manager at Rockwell Automation | | A man was doing Push Ups on the beach.
Santa Singh who watched him said laughing : Sorry to tell you, but the woman below you has left !!
By Prashant Panchal, Key Account Manager at Rockwell Automation | | Oh Adam | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What`s wrong with you?" Adam said he didn`t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you`ve had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?" Of course, the rest, as they say, is history....................
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | And God Created The Woman | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | He was so pleased with his creation that he calls in three of his top advisors:
His chief Carpenter, His Chief Tailor, and His Chief Architect.
He presents his creation to his Chiefs and asks them for suggestions and
comments.
The Carpenter says:
"Too many forms, you need to straighten things out, flatten it out."
God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks"
Then the Tailor says:
"Too many strings (hair) sticking out, you need to trim them."
God replies, "No I like it that way, but thanks"
Then the Architect says:
"Wonderful creation, absolutely superb, but next time, please do not place the toilets next to the reception room"
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Romantic Couple. | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you used to bite my neck.
"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going ?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Who said English is easy??? | Add a comment » | Started by Hareesh Bhargavan, Expertise in Strategic Planning | Project Management | Operations Management | | | Fill in the blanks with YES or NO.
1.______, I don’t have Brain.…
2.______, I don’t have Sense.…
3.______, I am Stupid....
By Hareesh Bhargavan, Expertise in Strategic Planning | Project Management | Operations Management | | | Preparing for a trip | 1 comment » | Started by George Marshall, VP Marketing at Dhyan Infotech | | LOL!!! Natural navigators is more like it..!! :))
By Aparna Ramesh K, AGM at India Insure Risk Management Services | | Bunnings has everything! | 1 comment » | Started by Aparna Ramesh K, AGM at India Insure Risk Management Services | | LOL:-)
I guess such machine exist in real??
By Rauf Cyclewala (rauflinkedin@yahoo.com), Analyst- Market Research & Business Intelligence | | "This American system of ours, | Add a comment » | Started by Chandrashekaran K N, CEO at Indraprasta Consultants | | call it Americanism,
call it capitalism, call it what you will, gives each
and every one of us a great opportunity if we only
seize it with both hands and make the most of it."
-- Al Capone
By Chandrashekaran K N, CEO at Indraprasta Consultants | | What does your profession say about you? | 2 comments » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Remember what they say about teachers...
Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, teach teachers.
And aren't most researchers in academia? Hmmmm.....
PS Yes, I'm an Engineer. Yes, I studied. No, I've never placed a personal ad :-)
By John Burgess, Network Manager at Acquire Media | | Viagra Quickies | Add a comment » | Started by George Marshall, VP Marketing at Dhyan Infotech | | A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price.
His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: "Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad."
Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and you're up all night.
How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.
If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!
A guy named Dave emailed us that he left his Viagra tablet in his shirt pocket when he sent it to the laundry. Now, his shirt is too stiff to wear.
We received the report today that it is no longer necessary to stake tomatoes. Just dissolve a Viagra tablet in the water and they stand up straight and tall.
Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.
A man at a nursing home took Viagra and went to the lunch room, where the residents were playing Bingo. To get their attention he yelled out, "SUPER SEX! Super Sex!"
The ladies yelled back: "I want the SOUP!", "Soup, Please."
"Oh, I'd love some soup!"
The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive. The Viagra Super virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.
New Viagra eye drops make you look hard.
Viagra has been a big boon to 'stand up' comedians.
The man spent too much money on Viagra: Now, he's hard up.
Viagra in chocolate bars - you eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
A bank sign in Dallas during this heat wave complains: "Who put Viagra in the thermometer?"
Bread with Viagra as an added ingredient is being marketed through a Boston bakery under the name "Pepperidge Firm".
Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra? A man took twelve pills and his wife died.
Dan Quail does not support Viagra. Quote: "I've been using this stuff for a week and NOTHING! It's the worst suppository I've ever used."
Generic Viagra is sold under the name Fix-a-Flat.
Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load of Viagra slid off into the Ohio River, all the lift bridges suddenly went up.
New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to raise right up.
For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, they're raising the dead!
A Viagra delivery truck was high-jacked: The police are looking for two 'hardened criminals'. They expect a stiff penalty under the penal code.
Unconfirmed but frequent reports tell us that a man who overdosed on Viagra caused the funeral home problems - they couldn't close his coffin lid for 3 days.
Even so, we're told that the funeral home industry is happy about Viagra overdoses: Lots of new stiffs means an upswing in business
Then there was the man who got his Viagra tablet stuck in his throat and suffered from a stiff neck.
The difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.
By George Marshall, VP Marketing at Dhyan Infotech | | True Blonde | 11 comments » | Started by Justin William, Payments BU - Sales | | A blond was tired of being the brunt of dumb blond jokes, so she dyed her hair brown and the jokes stopped. When day she went for a drive in the country side and came upon a beautiful pastoral scene of sheep grazing peacefully. She pulled into the farmhouse driveway, got out and went to the fence too enjoy the scene. The farmer saw her, came over, and agreed it was a rather pretty view. After standing there for a while. the blond said, "Sir, if I can guess how may sheep you have, can I have one as a pet?" The farmer said, "Well, that's rather strange, bur, sure, go ahead." The blond gazes out and finally says, "2,417." The farmer said, "Well, I don't know how you did that, but that's exactly the number of sheep I have, so help yourself to one of them. The blond climbs over the fence and wanders among the sheep, enjoying the warmth of the sun, the puffy clouds, the butterflies flitting from flower to flower. Finally, she stoops over and pick up one of the animals, that was smaller a friskier that the others, and come walking back toward the farmer. When she got up to the fence, the farmer said, "Miss, would you be interested in another wager?" The blond replied, "What is it?" The farmer said, "Well, if I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"
By Larry Rex, Technical Trainer and Content Developer | | Medidcal exams | 1 comment » | Started by Brian Wade, Experienced Sales and Channels Professional | | LOL
By Manish Pandey, Subject Matter Expert, Internet Research at Telegenisys Inc (TGSI) | News Discussions (1) | Forever Running Late | 1 comment » | | "Forever Running Late" is an amusing tale complete with a brain teaser. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
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