Most Active Discussions (3) Discussions (25) | BOYfriend 2.0 to HUSband 3.5 -- a nice letter | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Dear Tech Support
Team: It's been a year I upgraded from Boyfriend 2.0 to Husband 3.5.
I've soon noticed that the new program began has been very demanding, that took up a lot of time and patience on my part. Always on the run on BABY-MAKING software.
In addition, Husband 3.5 has installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other activities in my system. Applications such as MiniSkirts 5.0, Movies 3.0, Shopping 7.5, and GirlsNightOUt 3.6 no longer runs smoothly, crashing all the planned operation system whenever i select them. I can't seem to keep Husband 3.5 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications at hand.
I'm thinking about going back to Boyfriend 2.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Husband 3.5. will there be a higher version of maybe Boyfriend 2.5 instead of this?
Please help!
Thanks,
SHE "A Troubled User"
REPLY FROM TECH SUPPORT:
Dear SHE "A Troubled User":
This is a very common problem, like what's happening when upgrading programs of Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 experiencing nowadays, that many people complain about. Users who upgrade from Boyfriend 2.0 to Husband 3.5, thinking that it will be a more secured programs in the land is a no no.
User's are all wrong on that thinking!!
First, having a Husband 3.5 is not an OPERATING SYSTEM but created like a FIREWALL to your systems operating programs.
Second, it doesn't think on his own but rather created to be operated in ways they wanted to be.
Third, Husband 3.5 is designed by its Creator to monitor EVERYTHING that operates on your system!!!
It is also impossible
to delete Husband 3.5 and to return to Boyfriend 2.0 or upgrade it to Boyfriend 2.5 coz it's not allowed. It is impossible to uninstall, or upgrade the program files from the system once you installed it.
You cannot go back to Boyfriend 2.0 because Husband 3.5 is designed not to allow this. (Look for the manual of Husband 3.5 under Warnings-Refrain-From-Nagging-Even-If-It's-His Fault version 9.9)
I recommend that you keep Husband 3.5 and just purchased additional programs like SEX 1.0 & CARS&GADGETS 9.5 to allow a perfect program environment.
I also suggest installing the background application "Yes Honey" to alleviate software augmentation & to keep them away from other firewall like applications.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\SEX TALKS because
ULTiMATELY you will have to give that kind of command before the
system will run smoothly to your likings.
Husband 3.5 is a great program, low in maintenance but very effective. You just have to remember that they are not MIND-READERS coz their applications is likely say/put/encode what you want or never at all.
Husband 3.5 also comes with several support programs, such as PAYSLIP 1.5, GIFTS 7.5, STRESS ABSORBER 4.2 and LISTENING-W/O-COMPLAINING 6.8;
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the
program MAN-NAGGING-WIFE 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Husband 3.5 is to use the program i mentioned above THE SEX 1.0 together with COOK4HIM software. I also recommend
BODY.MASSAGE 2.1 and NASTY-SEX 5.0 to be use sometimes.
ADDITIONAL WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Being-Sweet-to-Other-Man 4.4. This application is not supported by Husband 3.5 and will definitely launch JEALOUSY 8.9 that can cause irrevocable damage to your system.
Best of Luck,
Tech Support
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Why Females Cry Easily ? | 1 comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Great one Deva...
By Leon Lingam (LION), Senior Research Analyst at Salesify Inc. | | ============================ North Indian Girl Vs South Indian Girl - No offense intended to either!!! ============================ | 2 comments » | Started by Deepak Bhatia, Business Development Executive - US Sales at Tech Mahindra | | WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE
1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.
2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.
3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.
4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.
5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.
6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair.
7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.
8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.
9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you.
10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to "! walk out"
11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.
12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"
13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson.
WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE
1.Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University .
2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."
3. She shudders if you use four letter words.
4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconutoil from her hair.)
5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.
6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.
7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)
8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the Dog or for herself.
9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.
10. She thinks Kamal Hassan is the sexiest man alive.
11. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.
12. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')
13. She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie.
14. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.
15. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it ..
16. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.
17. She is more educated than you.
18. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you..
By Deepak Bhatia, Business Development Executive - US Sales at Tech Mahindra | | Marketing! ........LOL | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you."
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Friendship between men & women | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | On friendship between women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she
told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's
house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of
them knew about it.
On Friendship between men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told
his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them
confirmed that yes, he had slept over and two claimed
that he was still there.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Nice Love Story......Must Read | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | From the very beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrelled very often. Though the girl loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vents her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged. The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it was hard, but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. when she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. she had lost her voice....
The doctor says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,..it's still just silence cry that accompanied her.
Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang.
She does not wish to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.
With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying.... The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.
With a new environment, the girl learns sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.
A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing a invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her.
He used sign language to tell her "I've spent a year to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Hold My Hand | 1 comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | very true !!!
By Pankaj Kumar, Astute Sales Professional | | Story Of Two Friends" | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | A story tells that
Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything,
wrote in the sand:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning,
he wrote on a stone:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER WAY! | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.
That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?" The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."
What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply told people to help by putting some money in the hat. The second sign told people that they were able to enjoy the beauty of the day, but the boy could not enjoy it because he was blind. The first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
There are at least two lessons we can learn from this simple story.
The first is: Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently. THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER WAY!
The second is: Be thankful for what you have. Someone else has less. Help where you can and make it great for the needful.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Point Of View --> CHANGE IT(This is a very interesting message about paradigm(accepted perspective) | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Imagine you're in London's Heathrow Airport. While you're waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling shortbread cookies. You buy a box, put them in your travelling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies. Finally you find a seat next to a gentleman. You reach down into your travelling bag and pull out your box of shortbread cookies. As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely.
He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches over and takes one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You're more than a little surprised at this. Actually, you're at a loss for words. Not only does he take one cookie, but he alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.
Now, what's your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He's got some nerve! Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man to your associates back at the office? Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there's just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you. After he's finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.
You think to yourself, "Did this really happen?" You're left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy another box of cookies. You then return to your seat and begin opening your new box of cookies when suddenly you glance down into your travelling bag. Sitting there, in your bag is your original box of cookies.........still unopened.
Only then you do realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man's bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake. Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You've just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You're seeing things from a new point of view.
Is it time to change your point of view? Now, think of this story as it relates to your life. Seeing things from a new point of view can be very enlightening. Think outside the box. Don't settle for the status quo. Be open to suggestions. Things may not be what they seem. Unless and until, one realizes about the fact, no one will change his or her view of thinking in spite of lot of external factors.
Every Point has THREE Sides; Your Side, My Side and The Right Side. To understand either the Other's Side or the Right Side, one needs to leave His Side.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Small Story Of A Boy And Girl | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
He said "No".
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever and he said "No".
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said "You're not pretty you're beautiful."
"I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever!".
"And I wouldn't cry if you walked away.I'd die!"
SO NOW I WILL SAY:
"I like you because of who you are to me.A true friend".
Remember:
"A good friend will come bail you out of jail....
But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying WE messed up! "
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Love And Time | 1 comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | excellent article!!!
By Urvashi Bhargava, Research Analyst at Salesify, Pune | | A Box Full Of Kisses | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy."
The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, "Don't you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They're all for you, Daddy."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.
Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child. It is also told that her father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.
In a very real sense, each one of us, as humans beings, have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses... from our children, family members, friends, and God. There is simply no other possession, anyone could hold, more precious than this.
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Naughty Wife | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.
I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.
So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm an honest loyal wife, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check.. If he can cash it, he can spend it."
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | 60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | 1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?
By Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | Little Johnny ------------------------------ | Add a comment » | Started by Jaydeep Roy, Principal Research Engineer, ACE Technology, Inch'on, KOREA | | A guy is walking down the street and sees Little Johnny smoking a cigarette.
He says, "Kid, you're too young to smoke."
Johnny looks up but doesn't say anything.
The man asks, "Son, how old are you?"
Little Johnny says, "Six."
Stunned, the man says, "Six!? When did you start smoking?"
Johnny replies, "Right after the first time I had sex."
"Right after the first time you had sex? When was that?"
Little Johnny answers, "I don't remember. I was drunk."
By Jaydeep Roy, Principal Research Engineer, ACE Technology, Inch'on, KOREA | | 3 Chinese | 6 comments » | Started by Jaydeep Roy, Principal Research Engineer, ACE Technology, Inch'on, KOREA | | @ Shravya... Good one.. I'm gonna share this version... LOL
By Harshad Borkar, Functional Head. Six Sigma Black Belt Proficiency Certified | | "LOVE" | 2 comments » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | enjoyed reading it
By I. C, Group Controller Costing ,MIS & Group Head of Internal audit in a Kuwati Conglomerate | | Birth Control | 1 comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | That's deep, Deva....
By Ronald Stern, Attorney-at-Law | | Last Day on the Job | Add a comment » | Started by Deva Raju, Sr. Technical recruiter at Makro Technologies, Inc | | It was the mailmans last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup?s bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what?s the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "F**k him, give him a dollar."
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